By Kirk McCarley
I came across a video where the speaker was addressing leadership effectiveness among prominent politicians. He was complimentary of one person being bold and decisive in what they stood for contrasting that with another who was less adamant, even “wishy washy.” As I watched, I found myself less focused on the message and more attuned to how it was presented.
The messenger was passionate about his observations and beliefs, sprinkling in the “F-word,” several times in his short discourse.
Once, during a barnstorming tour to attract new businesses to my geographical region, I was paired with a colleague whose language was so brusque and blustery that I found it wearisome. Attempting first to promote unity and comradery I hesitated before I finally commented upon his ribaldry, remarking that I didn’t feel it met the standards of professionalism we should want to convey. His response to me was disagreement, further believing it would “attract and be relatable to prospects.”
Yelling, swearing and being overbearing were things Tony Dungy avoided during his 13-year NFL head coaching career. He believed there were better and more useful ways to get his message across to the players. Rather than scream, Dungy taught.
Rather than curse, Dungy talked in a calming voice. As opposed to overbearing, Dungy treated his players with respect.
“I think it was an approach that was outside of the box,” former Colts cornerback Marlin Jackson said. “It was different because of how he was able to relate to players. Guys naturally respected him because of the way he conducted himself. You wanted to go out there and play for him. You felt like you didn’t want to let him down.”
Dungy first learned about being mild-mannered and respectful from his parents. He then realized that philosophy carried over to his job when he played safety for the Pittsburgh Steelers in 1977. Dungy got his first opportunity to carry out that philosophy in 1996 with the Buccaneers. Most players are accustomed to coaches who swear and yell a lot. Dungy told his players from the start that things wouldn’t be that way in Tampa.
“I said, ‘This is the way I’m going to coach and if you need to be yelled and screamed at, I can hire another coach to be the screaming coach. Other than that, I’m just going to tell you what we need to do,’ ” he said.
Dungy didn’t have any problems winning games that way. He led the Buccaneers and Colts to the playoffs in 11 of his 13 seasons coaching the two teams. The Colts won five division titles, reached the AFC Championship Game twice and won Super Bowl XLI.
In other vocational fields, swearing does not necessarily equate to success. In the rugged world of stand-up comedy, Ellen Degeneres and Jim Gaffigan rarely use profanity of any kind. Jerry Seinfeld described cussing in one’s act as actually being lazy.
Author and consultant Phil Cooke counsels many leaders who falsely believe that carefully directed anger and occasional swearing strengthens their leadership position. Instead, he finds that:
Real leaders never get to the place where anger or swearing is necessary to maintain their leadership.
The minute you lose control, you’ve just telegraphed to your team that you’ve run out of real answers, and don’t have a clue what to do next.
Cooke goes on to say, “In many ways, swearing in the workplace is like taking risks with social media. For everyone that gets away with it, someone’s career is ruined. I can’t count the number of promising leaders in business and politics who hit the rocks because of a thoughtless email, Twitter post, or other social media blunder. Swearing can backfire just as easily. Consider the impact when it comes to your perception. A moment’s profane vent could completely change your perception in the office or with customers or associates.”
How “clean” is your brand? How positively does it influence others? Are your words and expressions thoughtful, clever, creative, intelligent, upright, moral?
A graduate of the University of North Texas, Kirk McCarley is a Certified Professional Coach as well as a Professional in Human Resources (PHR) and SHRM-CP Certified. He also is a Production Assistant for both college football and basketball for ESPN and leads group cycling classes as a Certified Spinning instructor. Contact kirk@theseedsowercoach.com, theseedsowercoach.com, or call 314-677-8779.
