By Kenneth Books
Divorce can be vicious. Sometimes marriage can, too. Until 1997, there were few local places families could turn to in order to exorcise the hatred, violence and mistrust that are often the aftermaths of a failed marriage.
But since 1997, an organization has existed to serve children and families dealing with domestic violence and other, related, issues.
Safe Connections, with offices in Okaloosa and Walton counties, “specializes in supervised visitation and court-ordered custody exchanges,” according to executive director Carole Antoon. “Our staff is very well trained and training is quite extensive. Our manual on sex abuse is almost 200 pages. The supervised visitation training manual is about 400 pages.” In addition, there is roughly 24 hours of further training annually.
Helping that goal is the passage of Florida House Bill 385, “The Safe Exchange of Minors” law, which came into effect in July and which allows families experiencing domestic violence to use Safe Connections for their court-ordered custody exchanges. When there is a domestic violence injunction, the court can order monitored exchanges, or supervised visitation, to take place at Safe Connections’ facility. “This ensures that parents do not have any contact during the exchange, and the process is documented and conducted smoothly,” Antoon said.
One of the founders, Sharon Rogers, who recently retired as executive director, said the organization’s birth was a joint venture between volunteers and Shalimar United Methodist Church. “It was brought to the church that we needed a safe place for kids,” Rogers said. “The church formed a committee, which offered the old church building for the organization.
“We had no money, but we had space and interested people,” Rogers, who was serving as a Guardian ad Litem, providing a legal advocate for the child in difficult circumstances, at the time, said.
“Everything was free,” Rogers said. “We had donated furniture, toys. We used a model that had been started in Jacksonville and just went from there. Eventually, we got some money and decided we should hire somebody. I applied. It was just a very small amount, just a part-time job.”
Donated space was the early prerequisite for Safe Connections. “The only way we could have done it was with that donated space,” she said. It allowed us to expand into other areas, such as Walton County, in 2001.
Then, in 2012, Safe Connections got a substantial grant from Impact 100, its first. “We bought a building in Crestview and we’ve been there since,” Rogers said.
Recently, the organization bought a building on Beal Parkway, just past Hollywood, for $86,000. “It needs a ton of work,” Rogers said. “We have to put in the safety parameters, flooring and bathrooms need to be done and it needs an entirely new air conditioning system.”
“We’re in the process of getting handicapped accessible ADA compliance bathrooms done,” Antoon said. “We need money for a security system. We do have parents who get really angry and threaten us. Those systems cost a lot but we’re trying to get to the point where we’re self-sustainable.
“We want this to be a place where parents and children can rebuild those bonds from prior to whatever family event happened.”
“Child sex abuse, neglect, domestic violence – We have parents who have tried to kidnap their kids,” Antoon said. “We have so many different categories. It’s so hard to understand others’ experiences so we try to put ourselves in their situations.”
Safe Connections had a “giant field grant that carried us for years,” she said. “We were competing with major entities (for grants).” But that grant expired. “We’re in a major funding crisis right now,” she said.
Those wanting to help can do so on the Safe Connections Website, safe-connections.org/donate.
A fundraiser, “Cruisin’ Into Christmas,” hosted by Emerald Coast Harley Davidson, is scheduled for Thursday, Dec. 5, 6:30 to 9 p.m., with a catered dinner, adult beverages, live entertainment and live and silent auctions. Tables of eight are available. For more information, go to safe-connections.org.
Some of Safe Connections’ encounters are less than cordial. For example, said Antoon, “We had military father. We could tell from a domestic violence injunction that he had lot of anger and he was horrible to our staff. Finally, we let him know his actions were unacceptable.
“He came in one day after that and apologized to the staff. He’s now a much more engaged parent. He asked questions like ‘What should I do here?’ We got his daughter to write him a letter and tell him what her concerns were. He got angry and said he was never coming back. We asked him, ‘What if this was you talking to your father and you just wanted him to know what was going on and how you felt?’ We talked to him about canceling his visits. Every so often we get a text that things are going good. He got his children back. He’s been doing unsupervised visitation for about a year now.”
