By Michelle Ruschman
When local resident Esme Graff got divorced in 2015, she never imagined it would be the very thing that would launch her into her purpose. Now, less than a decade later, this local author, speaker, podcast host, career woman, mom and woman of faith is encouraging single, divorced mothers to know their value, pursue their passions and fortify one another through community.
As she developed these aspects of herself, Esme realized that what she was learning as a divorced parent could shed some light in the dark places that many other newly divorced moms have to navigate alone. Along with the loss of their spouse, a shift in friendships or a location change can lead to isolation. Esme wants women to know that community and faith are possible.
“If I had 30 seconds to spend with every divorced single mom I would remind them, ‘You are a child of the Creator, and the enemy is going to regret everything he has done to hurt you. You are strong and courageous. One day it won’t hurt anymore. Let the shame go. Divorce is only part of your story, not your death sentence. You don’t have to be a dad, just be the best mom you can be, and be gracious with yourself.’ “
Esme’s first book, Here and Now: A Heart That Lives for Jesus, is a devotional that reminds her readers that challenges can develop new skills and these have a purpose. Through these 28 days of scripture and prayer, the presence and comfort of Jesus are revealed as Esme offers a way to notice His presence during the hardest times.
Even as much as Esme has been sustained by her faith and relationship with Jesus, it was also invaluable for her to develop relationships that brought life to her and her kids. She is especially moved to give back to an organization that was integral in helping her daughter get the extra support she needed as well.
“One of the things I am super excited about is supporting kids of single moms who may want to take dance classes at Inspire Ballet (located in Valparaiso) with a dance scholarship. The impact these dance teachers had on my child was life-saving. My daughter is an amazing person because the teachers at Inspire Ballet loved her unconditionally. I want other kids to experience that as well.”
Even with so much support, Esme acknowledges that single moms can still feel overwhelmed. Showing up to work, managing a household, and being a parent so the family can thrive together requires some discipline.
“It has to do with sticking to the boundaries you have to set and I prioritize my activities based on the season I’m in. Sometimes God calls me to concentrate on my family, not ministry or my job. I ask myself, ‘Is this what God wants me to do right now?’ Amazingly, everything works out better when we align our plans, actions, and gifts with God’s timing. It isn’t easy, but it works out better.”
To hear more from Esme and her friends, you can tune into her podcast, The Esme Graff Podcast, which comes out with new episodes the first and third week of each month. These can be found on all major platforms where podcasts can be found, including Apple and Spotify.
Esme is also coming out with a new book, Friendships: Cultivating Twelve Qualities to be More Like Jesus, and you’re invited to her book launch at MJ’s Place in Niceville on July 20, 2024, from 2-4 pm.
“It’s all about surrounding yourself with people that are going to influence you with qualities that Jesus had, like compassion. I am not a person who is automatically compassionate toward other people, but I have a friend who models the compassion that Jesus had, and I have learned to soften my heart in areas where I’m tempted to be legalistic. Having key friendships like this can help us deepen our relationship with God and I know that I wouldn’t be the person I am today without the friendships that have held me up and kept me accountable.”
If you’d like to get in touch with Esme, visit www.esmegraff.com.
